hula hello yellow~ haha
When I open my blog, I’ve just realized that my previous post tittled “Love Sucks”. however, I’m going to post about romance (again) this time. LOL.
Well you know, I’m struggling about forgetting my feeling towards A. When I have to move on from A it feels like “dear God, how come I’ll meet someone like him again?” It feels like he’s the one and I have to be with him. But, not just me but also my friend, and even my mom, doesn’t approve him. The reason is, both of us is the youngest children. We both stubborn, selfish, and not mature yet. As I’ve said before, he’s a copy of me. He’s me in boy version. That’s way we click in so many levels. We both have the same TV drama series, about curiosity, etc. But in the end, he also disappoint me in so many levels. He’s not to the point, he kept promise me this and that and in the end he blow me off. And I’m tired knowing he lied to me again again. Well, it’s more like he always make excuses and I know that he just doesn’t want to do it. Why can’t he just say to me that he simply doesn’t want to do it. How could I know he lied? Well as I say, he’s me in boy version. I know the way he thinks and his habit. Since I know him so well, and he knows me so well to I became attached to him. I love being around him, it’s the most comfortable place in the world. Where I can be myself, talk about almost everything, and I don’t have to give a fuck about how I looks since he already knew my worst condition (due to our circumstances we already saw how we look when we just wake up). LOL. He can’t help me for most of time. He always put himself first before other (that’s how I thought). So, whenever I feeling sad, depress and wanna cry I come to my friend, also a boy (in my major girls are very rare). Let’s say that he’s name is B.
B is very different from A. He’s not that mature, but at least he’s a little bit more mature than me. He always calmed me down, and say we’re human so it’s normal to make some mistakes, feeling upset, etc. He also said that it’s okay to expect him to do this and that, because we’re human with some feelings. We’re not an idiot because of doing that. One night, I have dinner with him. I’m the one who ask him out, that’s because I’m so frustrated with my college life. At that night I’ve said that I’m tired with A attitude, that he seems jealous when I get close to other guy but he never says anything. Well the other guy means nothing to me, I mean we’re friend but that’s it. We chat each other when we got lonely or have something to discuss, but that’s it nothing more. Long story short, I tell B that he also like the other guy. I’m clearly saying to him that there’s no future for us in the term of romance. We become closer after that night, he often chat me and ask about how I’m doing. We talk about this and that, until I have feeling that he’s weird. In weird I mean that he might be have another motive besides just being my friend. I step back for a few days, and he began to tell me that he likes this girl and ask my opinion about how to get closer to this girl. I relieved. He said that this girl is a little bit difficult, but in the end he’s able to ask her out. I really like my friendship with B, we became very close to each other and I don’t have to worry about his feeling (since he has someone he likes). We chat everyday, saying morning greetings and bye bye goodnight. LOL. However, as the days come, he’s not telling me about that girl anymore. One day, he hasn’t chat me yet, and I become bored so I chat him and said that “I was bored so I chat you”. So he said that, how mean of me to chat him just because I’m bored. He asked what I’m thinking about him. I answered “you’re B”. I asked, what would he wants me to think about him. And he said, “someone special”. Then he asked, “would you become my someone special?”. We often playing around and sweet talks to each other, but we both know it’s just a joke. We both have someone that we really like.However this time, it feels different. I don’t know how to answer him. Is he serious or just joking like usual? I answered him in a funny way, pretending that he’s joking. And I really hope that he’s joking. Actually a few days before he asked me, he came to town and we met. Not only the two of us, there are my other friend, my mom and my sister. My mom met him and approve him, she likes him. I don’t know why, but several days after he asked me, I don’t feel like to talk to him anymore. I just don’t want to. I want to disappear from him. Forever.
I’m avoiding him. For a few days he still try to reach me. I pity him, because he’s lonely and I can’t accompany him. But I keep avoiding him. Then, last saturday 14 May 2016 I met this guy. Lets call him C. Me, my 2 sisters, mom, and dad, also my 2 nieces and brother in law goes to Cilember to accompany mom and dad to college reunion. Long story short, we took a group photo and he’s the one who took it. Well I could say that he took my heart as well, LOL. The moment I saw him for the first time, I can’t hold my smile. I smile. My sisters who saw that automatically know that I’ve been falling in love for the first sight with this guy. And they start collecting data, even telling my mom and dad -.- My Dad looking for his name and phone number, also his current job. After knowing his current job, oddly it’s the sam office as my sister friends. So she asked her friend whether her friend know about him or not. You know what? They’re acquaintance! What a coincidence! Haha but that’s it, nothing happen after that night. I already save his number tho, but what could I do? nothing. haha.
So, that’s the story when the guy named C came..